Identity Crisis

I must be having some sort of major quarter-life crisis. In the last couple of days I have seriously been considering not only going sky diving, but moving in with a couple of guys whom I've never met.

Let's start with the sky diving. "Sky diving?" you think to yourself, "that's not that big of deal." Right. It really isn't. Except for me. Have you ever met me? I'm pretty much the least adventurous person of all time. Not to mention the fact that I like to stay grounded. Have you ever seen me dance? I am not a jumper. You are much more likely to find me writhing around on the dance floor than trying to mess with gravity. Gravity is not to be messed with.

Second, moving in with two random guys I don't know. I was planning on living with another girl from Salt Lake when I went to grad school, but she just emailed me out of the blue to inform me that she decided to live with some other girls (I have a sneaking suspicion that it's because I'm LDS and she's already had her fair share of our kind after living in Salt Lake, but I suppose I can't be too offended because I've never met her and we only exchanged a few brief emails.) Anyways, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to find other roommates at this point (and I really can't afford to live on my own) so I was starting to get kind of worried, when one of the guys from my program offered me a spot with him and one of the other guys. For the first hour or so after I received his email I couldn't stop laughing. Then, I started to think, hey, that actually doesn't sound like that bad of an idea. They would probably let me have the master bedroom with a walk-in closet and my own bathroom and it would be nice not to have to live with all of the drama that comes from living with females. Not to mention the fact that I would have two built-in bodyguards that I could manipulate into doing manly things for me like opening my pickles, hanging my pictures, and moving my furniture. Of course, there's always the possibility that they are smelly, raucous and vulgar, but hey, I've met my fair share of smelly, raucous, vulgar females so it's a toss up really.

So yeah, between sky diving and the roommate situation, I keep finding my old-self asking my new-self in complete and utter disbelief, "Who are you?" I have to admit that it has taken me almost an entire week to talk myself out of both, and I can't say that I've completely succeeded. Sky diving is pretty much out, based purely on financial reasons (I just found out that none of my federal taxes were withdrawn from my paychecks last year. Yeah, uh-huh.), and the roommate situation is pretty much out for the sake of my parent's psychiatric and cardiovascular health... Pretty much... But who knows, really, because apparently alien life forms have invaded my body.

Seriously? Who am I? I hardly recognize myself these days. Next thing you know I will be agreeing to go on more than 2 dates with the same guy... But don't worry, if it ever goes that far I will be sure to get some serious help.