How To Be Productive

I find that I am at my most productive when the pressure is on. What - six quizes, a test, 2 papers, (all due by Tuesday), my senior project, grad applications and a full time job? Sweet! I think I'll wash my car, go grocery shopping, clean the bathroom, do my laundry, file my nails (vowing yet again to stop biting them once and for all), clean out my purse, reorganize the kitchen pantry, and run some errands. Then, I go home, sit down and write a to-do list. I write down everything I just did and then I take great satisfaction in checking it off. I don't just check the box - I scribble it out too. It feels better that way. Next, I write down everything I need to do. Then I put the list away so I don't have to look at it anymore because it stresses me out.

When I finally reach the point where I can't think of anything else I could possibly do, I buckle down and get to work. There will be no distractions from this point on. My laptop purrs to life and my fingers begin to dance nimbly across the keys. I navigate swiftly from one point to the next. Clearly, I am a woman of remarkable skill. Years of schooling have left their mark. First, I elminate the distractions so as not to get side tracked. Hotmail, MSNBC, CNN, itunes, my friends' blogs, their friends' blogs, their friends' friends' blogs, and finally on to the online quizes. . . . No, not my nutrition and chemistry quizes - the other kind of online quizes. You know, the kind where there are no wrong answers and you find out all sorts of interesting things about your personality that you never would have known if the fifteen-year old who wrote the quiz hadn't posted it on the internet? That kind of quiz.

Okay, so I didn't study for my chemistry test, write my papers, take my quizes, or work on my project. But hey, at least now if someone asks me what kind of ice cream best describes my personality I can confidently reply "strawberries and cream" without even pausing to think about it. I am kind of disturbed, however, to find out that my my mental age is 60-68 and that if I were a murderer I would be a hitman. Hmmm . . . maybe I better just stick to chemistry.